Setting: On the couch in the living room with Macy when my phone rings. May or may not have been napping.
Me: Hello...?
Dave: Hey, it's me.
Me: OK. Where are you? (was I sleeping??)
Dave: In the attic.
Me: Oh.
Dave: Can you come upstairs and help me run a cable through the wall?
Me: Um, sure.
It's Christmas Eve and Dave is rerouting our cable wire in the bedroom. When I got upstairs it sounded like he was drilling through a bucket of rocks in the attic. While he has always been handy I, on the other hand, have always been prone to 'worst case scenario'. So while logically I know that it's only a cable wire, and Dave knows what he's doing, the irrational part of me hopes that we are not that family on the morning news tomorrow whose house burned down Christmas Eve due to electrical issues.
Thursday, December 24, 2009
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
Cheater Cheater, Pumpkin Eater
Sometimes I get so used to working the Monday to Friday grind that I forget how awesome daytime TV is. Even when I was in elementary school I had a well developed appreciation of emotional train wrecks. If I could stay home sick from class, I would load up on Maury and ginger ale (back then he covered more than just baby daddy drama - I'm pretty sure that Maury's show keeps DNA labs in the black).
I don't think I could say my tastes have matured; nowadays if I'm home (and even when I'm not, THANK YOU TIVO) I'll watch Cheaters. Which is AWESOME. If you like emotional train wrecks and that sort of stuff.
Yes, it's crap. And stupid. And D-R-A-M-A. I won't argue against that. But after a hard day's work (or not), it's also super entertaining and never fails to surprise. It also features people named Jube (btw, if you name your kid Jube, he's guaranteed to end up not only a school yard mockery but also a failure). So bonus points for that.
I don't think I could say my tastes have matured; nowadays if I'm home (and even when I'm not, THANK YOU TIVO) I'll watch Cheaters. Which is AWESOME. If you like emotional train wrecks and that sort of stuff.
Yes, it's crap. And stupid. And D-R-A-M-A. I won't argue against that. But after a hard day's work (or not), it's also super entertaining and never fails to surprise. It also features people named Jube (btw, if you name your kid Jube, he's guaranteed to end up not only a school yard mockery but also a failure). So bonus points for that.
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
So. Excited.
Remember the book Alice in Wonderland? And then the Disney movie? And how it was all sweet and colorful and bizarre and fun all at the same time? Well, it's back! But this time new & improved and chock-full-o Johnny Depp. Yay!
PS: It should be illegal to watch the new one without seeing the original (or reading the book) because there is no other way you can appreciate all the cool, techie CGI effects.
PS: It should be illegal to watch the new one without seeing the original (or reading the book) because there is no other way you can appreciate all the cool, techie CGI effects.
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
The No List
Let me start this by saying that both Dave and I are lucky to still have our jobs. We've both faced salary cuts, but we're still employed. So just like a lot of other people we have less money to cover the same old bills (and by old, I mean I'm still paying VISA for take-out and pedicures from college - circa 2002). Mathematically, it just doesn't work out.
And just like a lot of other people, we agreed to cut out the fun extras and try to pay-off some debt (you're welcome, VISA). This is something that my lower-middle class upbringing has trained me for. But it means saying 'no' to things, which I've never been very good at doing. (To note, there are lots of other things to include on the not-very-good-at list: exercise, cooking, babysitting, waiting - for anything, masking facial expressions and not using four-letter words at completely inappropriate times, to name a few).
And I thought if I put it in writing that maayyybbeee I would work harder to try to not return to my old credit cards ways. I may also be able keep some of the things I love, like chewies for Macy and trips to Chipotle. So here are a few things on my list:
No regular mani-pedis (miss you OPI Oh... to be 25 again).
No weekend trips to the coast for fifty cent oysters and dollar drafts
No going out to lunch at work
No clicking on emails from the evil marketing people at Victoria's Secret/Ann Taylor/Crate & Barrel/Macy's/Target
No ordering wine by the bottle
No trips to the dermatologist for the 'extras' that aren't covered by insurance
There are a few more, but I'm thinking I need to start small. If this works, I'll update with new commitments.
And just like a lot of other people, we agreed to cut out the fun extras and try to pay-off some debt (you're welcome, VISA). This is something that my lower-middle class upbringing has trained me for. But it means saying 'no' to things, which I've never been very good at doing. (To note, there are lots of other things to include on the not-very-good-at list: exercise, cooking, babysitting, waiting - for anything, masking facial expressions and not using four-letter words at completely inappropriate times, to name a few).
And I thought if I put it in writing that maayyybbeee I would work harder to try to not return to my old credit cards ways. I may also be able keep some of the things I love, like chewies for Macy and trips to Chipotle. So here are a few things on my list:
No regular mani-pedis (miss you OPI Oh... to be 25 again).
No weekend trips to the coast for fifty cent oysters and dollar drafts
No going out to lunch at work
No clicking on emails from the evil marketing people at Victoria's Secret/Ann Taylor/Crate & Barrel/Macy's/Target
No ordering wine by the bottle
No trips to the dermatologist for the 'extras' that aren't covered by insurance
There are a few more, but I'm thinking I need to start small. If this works, I'll update with new commitments.
Monday, December 14, 2009
Food Hangover
Sunday night we went to a dinner party with some co-workers. They were serving fantastic Italian food (including garlic knots!) and I couldn't stop myself. Italian food is like my kryptonite; it weakens my ability to say no. So on top of lasagna & penne san remo I had four, fist sized garlic knots. But in my defense, they were beyond delish; doughy knots covered in sea salt. And garlic. And soaked in butter. And oil. It was all kinds of wrong.
(Thankfully, I have an ability to rationalize food situations like this. Like it's OK to eat four giant garlic knots, since garlic has all kinds of health benefits it cancels out all the other fats and carbs.)
Predictably, I woke up later that night in the fetal position (usually it's only red wine that makes me wake up feeling like crap). And by the time I got to work I could still taste garlic. Even post-coffee. I was like some stinky garlic camel who didn't need to eat again until the end of the day. Except for a few TUMS.
(Thankfully, I have an ability to rationalize food situations like this. Like it's OK to eat four giant garlic knots, since garlic has all kinds of health benefits it cancels out all the other fats and carbs.)
Predictably, I woke up later that night in the fetal position (usually it's only red wine that makes me wake up feeling like crap). And by the time I got to work I could still taste garlic. Even post-coffee. I was like some stinky garlic camel who didn't need to eat again until the end of the day. Except for a few TUMS.
Thursday, December 10, 2009
Let's state the obvious
I promise I'm not making this up. An email I got at work this week had the subject line 'Leave road kill bears alone'.
I didn't know this was a problem, but you have my attention.
The next line said, 'Warning: Don't pick up dead bears'.
Ha, ha, ha... what's wrong with people? Did someone ACTUALLY pick up a dead bear? In their car?
Yes, someone did, apparently. The rest of the email starts with, "Take this Florida roadkill quiz. You’re driving along a highway and see a large, dead bear on the side of the road. Other drivers slow down and gawk in wonder at its hulking bulk. What do you do?"
Other than accelerate? Because not only are you in bear country, but you are surrounded by people who prize fresh road kill.
I didn't know this was a problem, but you have my attention.
The next line said, 'Warning: Don't pick up dead bears'.
Ha, ha, ha... what's wrong with people? Did someone ACTUALLY pick up a dead bear? In their car?
Yes, someone did, apparently. The rest of the email starts with, "Take this Florida roadkill quiz. You’re driving along a highway and see a large, dead bear on the side of the road. Other drivers slow down and gawk in wonder at its hulking bulk. What do you do?"
Other than accelerate? Because not only are you in bear country, but you are surrounded by people who prize fresh road kill.
Saturday, December 5, 2009
Christmas Movie Weekend
For some reason this year I've really gotten into the Christmas mode. Blame it on the economy (just as easy as blaming farts on Macy), but it seems there are fewer party invites and fewer gifts to buy. Or maybe Dave and I just managed to offend everyone we know? Either way, it seems this Christmas I have bundles more free time.
Always a fan of some downtime, I'm not embarrassed to admit that I spent Friday night watching Christmas movies on cable. And then set the TiVo for the ones that were on past my bedtime.
Here are some of my favorites:
National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation: This gets funnier the older I get. This was the pick at Dave's office last year for their annual movie night; extra points for the awkward tension since his company had just announced lay-offs and canceled bonuses.
Four Christmases: This gives me hope that one year I'll have enough money to buy the parents a gift so fabulous that no one will care we went to Hawaii for Christmas (without them).
Home Alone: Because at 8 years old, Kevin could hold down a house better than I can at 29. Plus, people falling down always makes me laugh.
Elf: Will Ferrell has every one-liner I wish I would have thought of (if I were an elf. Which I could never be because of the limited shoe selection).
Bridget Jones's Diary: OK, so it's technically NOT a Christmas movie but parts do happen around the holidays.
Scrooged: you won't find another Christmas movie that mentions nipples and stapling antlers onto mice.
It's a Wonderful Life: I saw this for the first time 2 years ago. Even though I'm anti-sappy-sweet movie, this is the only one that makes me tear up.
Always a fan of some downtime, I'm not embarrassed to admit that I spent Friday night watching Christmas movies on cable. And then set the TiVo for the ones that were on past my bedtime.
Here are some of my favorites:
National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation: This gets funnier the older I get. This was the pick at Dave's office last year for their annual movie night; extra points for the awkward tension since his company had just announced lay-offs and canceled bonuses.
Four Christmases: This gives me hope that one year I'll have enough money to buy the parents a gift so fabulous that no one will care we went to Hawaii for Christmas (without them).
Home Alone: Because at 8 years old, Kevin could hold down a house better than I can at 29. Plus, people falling down always makes me laugh.
Elf: Will Ferrell has every one-liner I wish I would have thought of (if I were an elf. Which I could never be because of the limited shoe selection).
Bridget Jones's Diary: OK, so it's technically NOT a Christmas movie but parts do happen around the holidays.
Scrooged: you won't find another Christmas movie that mentions nipples and stapling antlers onto mice.
It's a Wonderful Life: I saw this for the first time 2 years ago. Even though I'm anti-sappy-sweet movie, this is the only one that makes me tear up.
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
Check these out...
So creative! This shop on Etsy sells the retro luggage my mom would carry when we did family vacations. I had almost forgotten that luggage didn't always come on wheels. I love the red!
Christmas Cheer at the Office
Did you know that they make Christmas lights in pink??? How can I not be more productive at work in such a festive atmosphere?
P.S.: No more large lattes before work.
P.S.: No more large lattes before work.
Monday, November 30, 2009
The Christmas Tree Roach(es) and Other Adventures
Living in Florida you always run the risk of being in close proximity to wildlife at any moment. Even in the urban areas, it's not unusual to hear about a possum/snake/alligator/raccoon/armadillo/cow/bear wandering into a backyard. And even though I've lived in Florida my entire life, I am still terrified of all the above. PLUS anything with more than four legs. Or no legs. So when Dave pointed out the Jurassic Park sized roach on our living room floor (6 inches from my leg!) as I sorted through Christmas ornaments to put on our tree, I wouldn't consider my screaming and jumping onto the couch an overreaction. Especially after Dave swatted it.
(On a side note, I left a very confused Macy on the floor with the roach. I think it's important to note that she is the first thing I would grab if we ever had a house fire.) (I'm pretty sure Dave could take care of himself in said house fire.)
Fast forward to this morning as I leave for work and see something unusual reflected our office floor. It's roach #2 (possible search party for roach #1?). But this guy was on his back, waving his little legs in the air. So I left him there to die (hopefully) a slow death as punishment for roach #1's actions.
It's been forever since I've seen a bug in our home so of course I blame both incidents on our Christmas tree, which was purchased outside the garden center of a Home Depot. It's just too much of a coincidence.
On a less traumatic note, on Saturday we visited Mount Dora. It's a FL city with a small town vibe, lots of cute little antique shops and even more cute little wine shops. Cover it all in twinkly Christmas lights and even without the gallon of red wine, it's just charming. My favorite was Maggie's Attic where, no joke, each glass of wine was at least a 1/2 bottle pour. They were nice enough to let my friend Nic and I sample a bunch of different wines before we settled on something cheap and red.
(On a side note, I left a very confused Macy on the floor with the roach. I think it's important to note that she is the first thing I would grab if we ever had a house fire.) (I'm pretty sure Dave could take care of himself in said house fire.)
Fast forward to this morning as I leave for work and see something unusual reflected our office floor. It's roach #2 (possible search party for roach #1?). But this guy was on his back, waving his little legs in the air. So I left him there to die (hopefully) a slow death as punishment for roach #1's actions.
It's been forever since I've seen a bug in our home so of course I blame both incidents on our Christmas tree, which was purchased outside the garden center of a Home Depot. It's just too much of a coincidence.
On a less traumatic note, on Saturday we visited Mount Dora. It's a FL city with a small town vibe, lots of cute little antique shops and even more cute little wine shops. Cover it all in twinkly Christmas lights and even without the gallon of red wine, it's just charming. My favorite was Maggie's Attic where, no joke, each glass of wine was at least a 1/2 bottle pour. They were nice enough to let my friend Nic and I sample a bunch of different wines before we settled on something cheap and red.
Christmas lights + red wine = good times
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
It's time to start the music...
Working the day before a holiday sucks for two reasons. First, I'm at work. Second, I've developed long-weekend fever and have already listed out all the non-worky/fun things I want to do over the next four days. On top of this it's dark, foggy and misting rain (always the preferred weather for a nap).
So when I checked my email at lunch and saw this little jewel (btw, thank you Jen!), I IMMEDIATELY felt better. Beaker and Ralph have always been my favorites; a testment to my life-long love of all things nerdy and musical.
Remember the movie The Muppets Take Manhattan? Where the mice would skate around on little butter skates inside the skillet? I guess back then people weren't concerned about cholesterol (or mice fur in their food) and using olive oil. I'm going to add 'finding Muppet compelation DVD' onto my long weekend list of non-worky/fun things to do.
So when I checked my email at lunch and saw this little jewel (btw, thank you Jen!), I IMMEDIATELY felt better. Beaker and Ralph have always been my favorites; a testment to my life-long love of all things nerdy and musical.
Remember the movie The Muppets Take Manhattan? Where the mice would skate around on little butter skates inside the skillet? I guess back then people weren't concerned about cholesterol (or mice fur in their food) and using olive oil. I'm going to add 'finding Muppet compelation DVD' onto my long weekend list of non-worky/fun things to do.
Monday, November 23, 2009
Sleeping Moo
My dog Macy (or Moo, Macy-moo, Moose & Moosey) spent almost all of Sunday on the couch watching t.v. If she continues to insist on getting her minimum 18 hours of beauty sleep, I think I'm going to have to demand that she either get a job or start folding laundry.
(Photo courtesy of my friend, Chad.)
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